Knowledge Base

Funny insurance claims

Started by: patchandcrew
On: 10/12/2018 | 15:15
Replies: 9

by: patchandcrew
on: 10/12/2018 | 15:15

I was reminded of daft insurance claims earlier, I found these and thought others might like them. Here is a selection and a link to more, enjoy ๐Ÿ˜‚


"I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.." (Thanks M Robson)



"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.." (Thanks N Bradley)



"I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof." (from an Australian claim form - Thanks N Shepherd)



"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind." (Thanks Sharon Burrows)



"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."



"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."



Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?



The claimant had collided with a cow.

The questions and answers on the claim form were -

Q: What warning was given by you?

A: Horn.

Q: What warning was given by the other party?

A: Moo.



"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."


"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke." "I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."


"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"



"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."



Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?

A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan."



"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."



"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."



"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"



"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."



"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."



"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"



"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"



"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"



"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."



"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."



"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."



"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

Message 1 of 10
by: weetinamc
on: 10/12/2018 | 15:22

Smiley Very Happy excellent @patchandcrew very funny

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Message 2 of 10
by: bobrobinson
on: 10/12/2018 | 15:25


Brilliant @patchandcrew

There so funny.

Thanks for sharing them with us

All the best BobSmiley LOL


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Message 3 of 10
by: gvmhb
on: 10/12/2018 | 16:42

They are great @patchandcrew thanks Smiley Very Happy

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Message 4 of 10
by: frenchielove
on: 10/12/2018 | 18:59

Love them @patchandcrew ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Message 5 of 10
by: sha_shah1
on: 10/12/2018 | 19:18


lol thats really funny

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Message 7 of 10
by: goofygirl
on: 10/12/2018 | 19:27
Message 8 of 10
by: pamfletch
on: 10/12/2018 | 19:33

Arriving home I turned into my driveway and hit a tree I didnโ€™t have ๐Ÿ˜ณ

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Message 9 of 10
by: shazzzy
on: 10/12/2018 | 21:14
very amusing
Message 10 of 10