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Here's an idea

Started by: catweazle1961
On: 23/03/2019 | 21:22
Replies: 31
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by: catweazle1961
on: 23/03/2019 | 21:22

Letter to Mrs. May

 

Dear Mrs. May,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing Brexit.

 

Instead of giving billions of pounds to Euro crates, that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc It can't get any easier than that!

 

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.. If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

 

Also..... Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out. They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request. Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls. There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to. The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

 

Think about this (more points of contention): COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria? And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Also; Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

😂 

What sayest thou?
Message 1 of 32
by: bigdaddy0714
on: 23/03/2019 | 21:27
@catweazle1961 VOTE FOR CATWEAZLE PEOPLE VOTE FOR CATWEAZLE 👍
Message 2 of 32
by: baconbutty
on: 23/03/2019 | 21:29

Good but who is going to want to buy 10 million Austin Allegros

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Message 3 of 32
by: eileenusher
on: 23/03/2019 | 22:10
@baconbutty more to the point who's going to make 10 million Austin Allegros, we don't have a car industry as such,would cost billions to restart one.
Message 4 of 32
by: o__o
on: 23/03/2019 | 22:45
I would love to see her face if she read this Smiley Very Happy
Get a free giffgaff Sim
Message 5 of 32
by: kate1028
on: 23/03/2019 | 22:50

Very good @catweazle1961  Smiley Very Happy Smiley Very Happy Smiley Very Happy   I have heard a shortened version of the criminals and pensioners swap before ! Smiley Happy

Message 6 of 32
by: ta_zara
on: 24/03/2019 | 00:11

Hello @catweazle1961  Good idea 

Message 7 of 32
by: standardbearer
on: 24/03/2019 | 06:38
I might be missing something but I havent seen your posts for a while.
If so welcome back.
Fortune Favours The Brave S.P.Q.R
Message 9 of 32
by: nefarius
on: 24/03/2019 | 06:45

Pppffftt! 

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Message 10 of 32