Knowledge Base

T-shirt slogans, funny pics & gags ;) :)

Started by: dtuxcomp
On: 24/05/2017 | 23:01
Replies: 7684

by: frenchielove
on: 11/12/2018 | 18:34

Oh that is funny @kate1028 😂😂😂

Message 3291 of 7,685
by: themzbiker
on: 11/12/2018 | 19:44

That story is really good enjoyed that thanks for sharing it
Message 3292 of 7,685
by: caro120
on: 11/12/2018 | 21:54

@kate1028 wrote:

I was clearing out a cupboard today and came across this story, which you might enjoy.   Hope some of the words won't be 'bleeped' out - but at least they're not 'F' ones !  No pictures, sorry !


The Swallow


Once upon a time there was a nonconforming Barn Swallow who decided not to fly south for the winter.


However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided he had to fly south.   In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.   A cow passed by and crapped on the Swallow. The Swallow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings.   Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then, a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.   The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.


The Moral of the Story

  • Anyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
  • Anyone who gets you out of the **bleep** is not necessarily your friend.
  • If you’re warm and happy in a pile of **bleep**, keep your mouth shut.


 Edit - It seems the 'S' word is only OK if it's got another 's' on the end !  Smiley LOL

Good old computers eh?  I think the 2 ronnies had the right idea with billhooks in the ironmongers sketch, fork handles and all thatSmiley Happy


Heard that story before but right, is surprising how wrong we can be about a situation!


And the starlings this way are silly when feed them, they can't help themselves but chirp away and loads of others come down to share their food.  But I guess is nature, safety in numbers and it all evens out in the endSmiley Happy


Message 3293 of 7,685
by: caro120
on: 11/12/2018 | 22:00

@sypamele wrote:

love the "Guinness" has a coke cos no-one is having a beer yup the first 3 ain't beers but dish water ..a nice pint of MARSTON'S XB or something similar would be nice if I still drank alcohol...

Yep got to be real ale hasn't it!


Always amazed me at beer fests, could have 6 or 8 different types, a half of each and very little nasty after effects - if you did that with any other drinks would probably be in trouble?  And they well kept with pride...


Not had marstons for a long time.. had some bath ales running hare or whatever called, light and golden but not as sweet as I like, quite dry and hoppy (as you'd expect!)


Yep rarely drink now, the hangovers too severe these days, even a couple of tiny snifters of whisky the other night led to a headachey day next day, just not worth it is it.


But once in a blue moon will go for it in a random session, 3 or 4 pints and get away with it.. trouble is, never seems to coincide with any planned days!Smiley Happy  we just end up in a pub and take it from there..



Message 3294 of 7,685
by: kate1028
on: 12/12/2018 | 10:12

Thanks for your comments @caro120 - I did wonder if that story would have been familiar already to anyone, as I think we've had it lying about for at least 10 years, so it's very old.   I also changed it a wee bit.   In our version the bird was a sparrow, and I thought that was a bit daft - as far as I know sparrows don't migrate to warmer climes in the winter !   As you say, though, there's an element of truth in the moral conclusions.

Message 3296 of 7,685
by: dolly247
on: 12/12/2018 | 11:40
Hi @kate1028. Yep I am familiar with the tale. And thank you 😊. My dad told it to us when we were young. Very good advice. x
Don't worry about the things you can't change, only the things you can.
Message 3297 of 7,685
by: jarsteve123
on: 12/12/2018 | 12:25
LOVEY MY FRIEND @ ceecee2110
Message 3299 of 7,685
by: themzbiker
on: 12/12/2018 | 12:48

Very good & funny nice one 😊
Message 3300 of 7,685