Knowledge Base

Turkeys vote 52/48 in favour of Christmas

Started by: extreme_one
On: 04/12/2018 | 16:33
Replies: 15

by: extreme_one
on: 04/12/2018 | 16:33

In a shock result after a bitterly-contested referendum campaign, turkeys have voted in favour of Christmas by 52% to 48%.


“Christmas sounds completely brilliant!” said Xmasiteer turkey Simon Williams. “They’ve promised us so much: presents, a nice tree, cranberry sauce…”


The losing side, Vote Remain Alive, has already begun an investigation into what was perceived as a negative campaign, dubbed ‘Project Fear’ by critics.


Turkey Simon Williams agreed with some of the criticism, saying, “Those Remoan Alivers just kept going on and on about how bad it would be if we voted to all be indiscriminately slaughtered.


“Well, I think we’ve all had more than enough of experts, don’t you?”


A Vote Remain Alive spokesturkey admitted that their campaign had been somewhat doom-laden: “Perhaps we should have focused on a more positive message about how not having Christmas has given turkeys benefits they might not be aware of, improving their living standards in countless ways. Like, y’know, not being dead.”


With the triggering of Advent Calendar 24, time is running out, but Vote Remain Alive turkeys are still pushing for a so-called Soft Xmas, hoping to combine some of the advantages of Christmas, such as pretty fairy lights, with some of the advantages of no Christmas, such as not being herded into darkened crates, rendered unconscious, killed, plucked, decapitated, trussed, cooked and then eaten.


“We’re really hoping to find some kind of compromise, given how close the referendum result actually was,” their spokesturkey pleaded.



Smiley LOL


Shamelessly stolen from NewsThump:

Smiley Indifferent
Message 1 of 16
by: endorphin
on: 04/12/2018 | 16:36

Brilliant piece of satire 😂

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Message 2 of 16
by: pault1974
on: 04/12/2018 | 16:40

Brilliant Smiley LOL Smiley LOL Smiley LOL

Message 3 of 16
by: muddycalhoun
on: 04/12/2018 | 16:47

I knew I had heard that scenario before just same stupidity different way




Message 4 of 16
by: andath
on: 04/12/2018 | 17:59

You really can't help yourself, can you @extreme_one!


I wonder what you're going to use to wind others up when this Brexit malarkey is done and dusted?

Message 5 of 16
by: extreme_one
on: 04/12/2018 | 18:14

@andath wrote:



I wonder what you're going to use to wind others up when this Brexit malarkey is done and dusted?

The ones needing winding up will offer up plenty of ideas I'm sure @andath. Smiley Wink


Mind you, me might all be too busy basking in milk and honey, living the halcyon dream, after all this malarkey, to even feel the need to post here. Smiley Happy

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Message 6 of 16
by: gvmhb
on: 04/12/2018 | 18:23
48% of inmates would prefer to stay in jail. They feel safe there they say and everything is free.
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Message 7 of 16
by: snenklehen
on: 04/12/2018 | 18:44
Another 50p in the meter I see
Guilty of thought crimes - If there is hope, it lies in the proles.
Message 8 of 16
by: nefarius
on: 04/12/2018 | 18:48

What a landslide! 

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Message 9 of 16
by: michaeldunha
on: 04/12/2018 | 18:53

Perfect gift for Christmas 🎄 31D9472D-017E-47AC-BE1F-4ACE5774FC29.jpeg




Message 10 of 16